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Privately, they struggled with issues that seemed almost laughable to outsiders but were profoundly embarrassing for them. Simple arguments escalated into comically awkward silences. For instance, a disagreement over whose turn it was to do the dishes could morph into a passive-aggressive war of cleanliness, with each trying to outdo the other in leaving the kitchen spotless, only to end in a standoff of unwashed dishes and unspoken words.